Detox: Week 5

Monday: noticed my pants getting looser and looser...this could be due to the fact that either i need to wash them...or my butt is getting undeniably smaller...
Tuesday: tried looking at my butt in the mirror from various angles to verify its shrinkage. threw my neck out.
Wednesday: watched everyone at staff meeting eat a strawberry cake to celebrate february birthdays. felt grossed out by all the sugar they were eating. felt very self-righteous. felt my stomach growl. reminded myself that i don't even like strawberry cake in the first place. felt ambivalent.
Thursday: nothing significant to report. noticed this is not the first time nothing significant has happened on a thursday. wondered if i spend most thursdays in some sort of dissociated state...
Friday: met with my nutritionist for my 5 week weigh in. the results are a follows:
  
     right thigh: lost 1 inch
     left thigh: lost 1 inch
     hips: lost 1 1/2 inches
     waist: lost 2 inches
     current weight: 110...for a weight loss total of 6 pounds.
     emotional state: pissed off that after ALL the eating and weight
        lifting i've done, i LOST weight.

i think my nutritionist FINALLY believes me when i say that i have a hard time gaining weight. let's face it, i have a hard time just maintaining my weight without accidentally losing some every once and a while. she could tell i was pissed. i tried to use i statements in attempts to not blame her for the loss of 6 very precious pounds:

Me: I feel really frustrated that after all this work, i lost weight.
Nutritionist: (irritatingly energetic) Well, girl, we'll just need you to eat MORE!!!!!
Me: I am sick of eating. I already feel like it's a part time job.
Nutritionist: Well, do you have any suggestions??!!!
Me: I would like to eat chocolate milkshakes...and french fries...and peppermint Joe Joe's from Trader Joe's.
Nutritionist: Nope!!!!! We're gonna give you more PROTEIN, more CARBS, and i'll let you have dairy a WHOLE WEEK EARLY!!!!!!!!
Me: (i feel like strangling you)...would a chocolate shake count as a serving of dairy?
Nutritionist: Nope!!!!!
Me: i hate this.

So...more protein, double the carbs and add one serving of dairy each day. If that doesn't add some weight by the next weigh-in, she is going to put me on the same meal plan she puts men on for my body type. awesome.

Saturday: went to a cupcake decorating class...complete with cream cheese icing. contemplated eating a cupcake just to stick it to my nutritionist. worried about the sugar spike and crash that would inevitably follow eating that much sugar after going 5 weeks without it. drank a lot of champagne instead.
Sunday: ate, ate, ate, ate, ate....watched Anne Hathaway make a COMPLETE fool of herself hosting the Oscars. felt very self righteous. reminded myself that i never really liked Anne Hathaway in the first place. felt a little bit better.

until next week,

tlk