Kids say the darndest things: #2

kid: I had a real bad day today.
me: I wonder what made it so bad.
kid: I ran into a wall and it was really REALLY hard.
me: I bet it was (laughs)...that sounds like a bad day to me.
kid: (laughs) yep.

(one of the kids was singing Bootylicious by Destiny's Child as we walked down the hall)
kid: "I don't think you're ready for this jelly..."
me: what is she talking about in that song? what's jelly?
kid: (looks behind my back and points) That right there, your booty! You got jelly...for a white girl.
me: (uncertain if that was a compliment or not...) Is jelly a good thing?
kid: (laughs) yeah, as long as you shake it!
me: (laughs) well alright...

kid: my cousin say he don't believe in Santa no more.
me: you look upset about that.
kid: yep, but my momma said don't worry about it. She say kids who don't believe in Santa get broken toys for Christmas.
me: broken toys...
kid: yep, broken toys or nothin'.
me: I bet YOU still believe in Santa.
kid: sure do

passing notes

I was at a friend's birthday party last night and chatted briefly with Matt Slocum. While we were talking I remembered that he wrote one of my most favorite song lyrics ever:

"Tension is to be loved when it is like a passing note to a beautiful, beautiful chord."

It was on a Sixpence album a while back but it comes to mind at least a few times a year. I wish I had written it but I am not sure I could have put words to that thought as eloquently as he did. I'm not really one for tension, for dissonance. Dissonance is defined as "a simultaneous combination of tones conventionally accepted as being in a state of unrest and needing completion." I tend to retreat when I sense that conflict is near. In my life tension has often led to brokeness instead of rest. The dissonance of this past year has been anything but loved; I have hated almost every single moment of it. But Slocum's words remind me that the beauty of a chord is fully appreciated when one has experienced the dissonance of its unrest. I find that I am restless, living in the midst of a tension that longs for relief. I think this is what it feels like to hope--to live in a way that anticipates something beautiful, to believe that one day the tight knot will loosen its grip.
t

Kids say the darndest things: #1

I love working with kids. LOVE it. One of my favorite things about talking with kids are the random questions that they ask in the middle of seemingly normal conversations. Here are some of my favorites from this past month:

kid: Did your mom ever go to college?
me: yes she did.
kid: did she just graduate?
me: she graduated a long time ago.
kid: oh....did she go to college to learn how to be a cave-woman?
me: (OMG!!!...PLEASE don't tell me I look old enough to have a cave-woman for a mother!) No, she went to college to be a teacher.
kid: oh...well, I guess that's ok too.

kid: Do you watch TV?
me: yes I do.
kid: Do you watch Dora?
me: nope
kid: Do you watch sponge Bob?
me: no
kid: Do you watch cartoons?
me: not really
kid: well, what DO you watch--the news?
me: I watch shows about cooking and famous people.
kid: like Michael Jackson?
me: no, like Kristin Cavallari.
kid: who?!
me: errr...never mind...yes, I watch the news.

kid: Do you watch TV? (This seems to be a popular question)
me: yes I do.
kid: what do you watch?
me: (sigh)...the news...
kid: like BET?
me: ummm....you mean the channel with music videos on it?
kid: yep.
me: yeah, sometimes I watch BET.
kid: yeah, that's my favorite news channel.
me: (smile)

Yep, some of my favorites. And there's plenty more where that came from...
t

Makin' a comeback

     So, clearly I have not posted in quite a while. 16 months, to be exact. While there are many reasons for this, it all boils down to the fact that my life has been an absolute shitstorm for the past year-and-a-half. When my life gets into shitstorm mode, I am prone to display hermit-like tendencies making it difficult for me to update the masses on my comings and goings. I won't begin to bore you with the minutia of all that has changed since my last post, however, I will say that the most significant update in my life is that I am in the process of getting divorced.  I do not intend on discussing the details of the divorce in this forum, but I can say that this has been the most heartbreaking year of my life--and this includes the year that doctors found dientamoeba fragilis trophozoites floating around my large intestine.
     I am moving forward into a new season of life and already much has changed. In May I graduated from Mars Hill Graduate School, in July I said goodbye to Seattle and reloacted to Nashville, and in August I started a job working as a therapist/case manager at an elementary school in Nashville. Lots to get used to.
     One of the things I missed the most this past year was my ability to write. For the longest time I was unable to find words to put to my loss and confusion. I stopped journaling, I stopped writing music, and I stopped emailing and corresponding with many friends.
     But as my heart has begun to heal I find, once again, that I have things to say. Some of them are sad, some are angry, some are funny, and some still don't make much sense. I'm ok with that. I am greatlful for a handful of close friends who walked with me as I attempted to make sense of the unraveling that this past year has been. For those who have not heard much from me this past year, I am sorry I could not give you more and hope that you can understand my absence.
     That's all from me for now. I am excited to write and I am excited for you to read. So, here's to finding words. It's about time.