Detox: Week 4

Monday: treated myself to a new haircut to compliment my new-ish body. i have to say, i feel pretty fabulous. AND i didn't eat one single piece of valentine's candy given to me throughout the day. miracles do happen.
Tuesday: went to dinner at Sonic with a group from work. in spite of multiple eyes rolled, i asked everyone at the table to describe (in great detail) what they had ordered...down to the hamburger toppings. then i salivated for approximately 30 minutes, non-stop.
Wednesday: noticed that multiple pairs of pants were baggy...hmmm...the whole point of this meal plan was to GAIN weight. i'm trying to tell myself that my body is getting lean...and that i don't really need to eat french fries and milkshakes in order to gain weight. but i'm gonna need to double check that with my nutritionist.
Thursday: nothing significant to report.
Friday: talked with a friend who sees the same nutritionist. she told me that the meal plan allows for 4 oz of red wine each day. this would have been wonderful news, except the fact that red wine turns my colon into a raging inferno. maybe i could have 4 oz of tequila/day instead. probably should run this by my nutritionist as well.
Saturday: while wandering the aisles at Trader Joe's looking for a particular meat item, an incredibly attractive Trader Joe's worker dude (IATJWD) came up to me and asked if I needed help with anything:

Me: Yes! I need help finding your sausage.
IATJWD: ...(pause)......(blink)......(pause)...
Me: (oh jeez)
IATJWD: ...(blush)......(pause)...
Me: you know, the chicken sausage with spinach and roasted garlic inside of it.
IATJWD: oh yeah! sure. that's in the refrigerated meat section. follow me; i'll show you.

we chatted for a few minutes and he told me all the different ways that he has "prepared the sausage". i barely held it together enough to speak properly. when he asked if i needed help getting a shopping cart, i thanked him, told him i already had one, and quickly scampered off. it was ALMOST as embarrassing as the time i went to Home Depot and asked a group of male employees who I "needed to talk to about finding some caulk"...(say it out loud, you'll get there...).
Sunday: successfully navigated eating out while staying true to the meal plan (MUCH harder than you'd think). spent time with friends. loved the warm weather. enjoyed a much-needed Sabbath.

tlk