The Bald and the Beautiful

So, I'm sure by this time you all have either heard about or have seen Britney Spears' new hair do. On the off chance that you've been living under a rock and haven't seen the evidence, take a long look at at the disturbing picture to my left. You can join the masses that are wondering when this poor girl is gonna stop making an idiot out of herself for all the world to see.

Now, while some may see this move as a serious career buster, I have come to the conclusion that the former pop princess just might have something else up her sleeve...er skanky tank top.

While many celebs spend thousands of dollars making sure their manes are fit for public appearances, there is a select minority that has done quite well for themselves being bald in Hollywood. I have taken the liberty of highlighting just a few of the many bald and beautiful individuals that have forged a path using nothing but the glare from their disturbingly shiny heads.




Take our dear friend, Mr Clean. While he looks like he shines his dome using the very same products he promotes, I have to say he's got the bulging biceps of a Gold's Gym personal trainer. I sure wouldn't want to come face to face with him in an arm-wrestling match. But I would be interested in borrowing his earring for this great nautical shirt I've got...

We all remember the Coneheads. These weird aliens taught us that it's not the freaky things on top of our heads that matter but, rather, the heart is the tie that binds. They taught us about life, love, and teamwork. But I have to admit, it's one of the most annoying movies I've ever seen.

Then we have Mr. Bigglesworth. If this doesn't make you want a kitty, I'm not sure what will. Look at how cute and cuddley this little guy is! Reminds me of when I used to cut my sister's Barbi Dolls' hair trying to get them to look like Lady Diana...and they all just ended up looking like freaks...(sigh)

Last, but certainly not least, we have our national mascot, The Bald Eagle. This is an example of a serious bald bad-ass. I sure wouldn't want to run into him in a dark alley. He could probably even take down Mr. Clean.

So, there you have it. Dry your eyes, Brit Brit. Even though the majority of the country thinks you have done lost your freakin' mind, you're dangerously close to loosing your kids to K-Fed, and you've blown your shot at ever being BFF with Madonna, look on the bright side--as a baldy, you're in good company. And with the bald eagle as your ally, I'm sure you won't have to worry about the pesky paparazzi for much longer.